QiGong Prison Ministry

Google Map view of the Prisons

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Each class inside is unique. Each class opens a new portal into experiencing the cosmic flow (God’s grace / movement of the Holy Spirit / energetic communion). Today was no exception.

I was absent last week, visiting my mother in Seattle, and the men had practiced together. On my way in I found P. Who was one of the original men who founded our class in 1998 and has recently returned to Old Folsom prison. Walking in together he caught up with his perspective on current state of affairs as the prison system relates to my class.

A new man to class today has been a teacher of Tai Chi Chuan and was eager to learn the meditative style Tai Chi Chih that we practice. Whether it was his energy or another level of input, I taught differently today. The rhythm was new, my words prompting the moves were different. Long ago I gave up the need to have a class plan. Circumstances are always shifting under our feet so flexibility is required to stay balanced.

I trust what arrives in my mind to say is dropped there my the QiField, as long as I don’t get in the way with MY plans. Sometimes I do. I was inspired at one point as I was coaching them into synchronizing their movements, to observe as to how easy that was here in class to do, where there was no overlay of race, gender, gang or other such story. Might they notice how in the flow of the Qi we can’t really find those kinds of separations. I seconded guess the impulse and thought it wiser to leave it unstated.

Later after class I entered into a marvelous conversation with F. where we shared about the impacts of the class on each of us. He starting the conversation off with the BIG question: How has coming inside here over the past 9 years changed me? Within the wandering and very validating conversation, he spoke about how during practice he had felt a very strong sense of gratitude come in for this unique opportunity to move in a peaceful and purposeful way with all these other men. Checking with him as to when this feeling had come, we realized it was right at the same time I was ready to speak on the same gift. Saying it out loud, he coached me, will help raise the whole groups consciousness.  Perhaps next time.

We talked about how we each effect each other and how seldom we get to hear of how our lives impact each others. I was grateful to hear some of how class had be a huge gift in his life and prison experience. The time came in the conversation to ask him how he was impacting those around him. A twinkle came over him and he shared about his walk across the yard coming to class. He lives just a few cells from another classmate and the two of them (one Black and one Hispanic) naturally and spontaneously walked to class together enjoying each other’s company. Others noticed and watched. Part way across the yard, what began as two friends walking, became a conscious demonstration of the harmony possible between races.

Practicing harmony, on the way to practicing harmony.

While I was traveling, I was unavailable for a magazine interview, so I sent the writer off to this Blog.  She sent me a list of questions she was unable to find which were pretty basic.  For the record I am including the questions and my answers here.

1. What year did you start with qigong at Folsom?
October of 1989

2) Do you still teach there?
Yes I teach still teach at Old Folsom every Thursday afternoon.

3) Do you teach at any other prisons?  If so, where?
On the same “campus” is a separate prison called CSP – SAC, I teach programs in two different Yards there on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I have also taught in the past at Avenal and Mule Creek State Prisons.  I have no on-going programs at these prisons.

4) How often do you teach at Folsom?
Currently, it is three days a week, I teach 5 QiGong classes and facilitate 2 spiritual support circles.

5) Number of inmates in class?  A range is good ie 1-20.  What is the  most common number in a class?
Most classes are between 10 and 20 students,  I’d say 15 is the most common number.  There are al lot of reasons student can’t get to class consistently.  I am not allowed to supervise more than 25 students at a time.

6) How long do inmates stay in program on average?  Shortest time?  Longest time?
Shortest time is one session.  Its not right for them. Not what they expected.  My longest student has been with me for 8 years.  In CSP-SAC I have students in each class that have been with me since I becan those programs in 2004 and 2005.
I suppose the average is 6 months, but it is out of their control, mostly they get transferred or given a conflicting work assignment.

7) What are the reasons you are aware of that inmates participate?  
Seeking a little peace and quiet and relief from the stresses of prison life. 

8) Have you seen any changes in participants that you attribute to Qigong?
Definitely.  The longer term students, are able to surrender to the Qi flow, relax and operate their lived from a more centered position.  They take a larger perspective on their situation and let down their barriers to support other men who are struggling with the conditions inside.  Even those who come just a time of two who I have seen later have told me what a difference it made in their outlook and understanding of the possibilities availble to them.  (See Testimonials section in the Blog)

9) Do you train participants to take over teaching qigong at Folsom?  Does Folsom permit inmates to teach other inmates?
Not officially, this all happens as one friend to another.  In each class I have senior students that help out with logistics, library materials, and fill in for me if I have to address administrative issues during class.  They are eager to help new students or lead a practice if I need to divide the group into two.

10) If you stopped teaching, do you think inmates would continue practice?
Some of them Yes, many no.  Much of the benefits are received through participating in an peace-generating activity with men of other races; in developing a mature relationship with a female; in learning to listen to their own energy, as well as that of the group; in experimenting with moving from their core integrity; in having an experiential relationship with the unconditional acceptance and availability of the Qi; in learning of their own capacity to feel and cultivate harmony within themselves and a group.  Sometimes I think the actual form is the least of what I offer, and then again it is the vehicle for everything that happens.

11) What sort of security is provided, if any?
I wear a whistle and an alarm.  On occasion a guard drops in the check on us. Official Prison chaplains are available for support if needed. The men in the class make sure it is safe for me and preempt situations without my involvement.

12) What sort of screening program did you have to go through when you applied to teach at Folsom?
Full security check run by the institution.

13) Do you receive any compensation from Folsom?
None. (Unless you want to count the headaches and hassles)

14) Why do you do it?
It’s a Holy Commission, a Calling, an honor to serve the  Tao in bringing Harmony into extreme dis-harmony.  It is a fertile field for my own spiritual and personal transformation. The men are grateful, eager and hungry.  Our classes are the best thing that happens for them all week.  Their appreciation is payment enough when my husband makes enough to care for our families financial needs.   (See blog pieces under Reflections including:  What changes? What motivates me? And How do I do what I do?)

Monday (Dec 4), I was able to teach all three of my classes and got a bonus of being in the right place at the right time to stand in for the Buddhist volunteers who couldn’t make it.  Finally!  It has been a very frustrating couple of months, getting inside to teach my classes so seldom, due mostly to bureaucracy bungling rather than lockdowns.  It has been a long time since this blog posted “a day inside” style entry, so here goes:

The sun was shining, as I pull up to CSP-SAC or what we call New Folsom Prison through the Oak forest, powerfully simple in its leafless state.  There was a new woman guard at the front gate who recognized my name from Natomas community activities.  She was friendly as she puts me through a new routine of searching my cart of lunch, boom box and class materials.  I pass through the metal detector without a beep.  Now all volunteers must park outside the gate and get searched each visit.  I don’t mind the walk in from the front gate if I have allowed enough time (I need 45 minutes to drive plus 20 more to get inside).  Half way to B Yard the shuttle pulled up along side me and being late, I hoped on.

My ten o’clock class was the ongoing group, a sincere dozen fellows who practice on their own and are eager to cultivate themselves.  Due the recent inconsistencies a couple of them did not have their blues on, and missed class.  Their blue prison clothes are required attire for the chapel, they are allowed to wear grey or white sweats when out on the yard working out.

I had spontaneously grabbed a I-Ching as I went out the door that morning and as class gathered and waited for a few stragglers (it takes at least a half hour sometimes an hour and numerous phone calls to the housing blocks to get the men escorted to class) I was inspired to share with them from this Taoist tradition.  Using the chits (metal discs stamped with my name on one side) I need for checking out keys and my alarm (I wear an garage door opener style alarm on my belt that can trigger a massive response of guards if there were trouble in the chapel, fortunately I have never in 9 years had to use it) as “coins” we asked for wisdom to inspire and guide our class.  We got the most amazing reading.  

38. Opposition (Misunderstanding) changing to 14 Possession in Great Measure (Now you understand).  Let me give you a taste:
 

   38. In I Ching terms, people follow false paths and oppose the truth not because they are contrary or bad, but because they misunderstand the truth. They perceive that following the truth will lead them to difficulties, so they adopt a hopeless attitude about following the good; they do not perceive that only by following the path of the true and the good can they achieve what they really seek.
    We often receive this hexagram when we begin to suspect that everything is going against us, or that we must meet life’s challenges without help from any source, or that there is no purpose to life, or that hostile events have no meaning.  This hexagram tells us that although we fail to realize it we are being helped.  We should not allow ourselves to become isolated by mistrusting the life process.  Events have meanings we are not meant fully to comprehend; our life has higher purposes we are meant to fulfill.  Adversity is necessary to growth and to the fulfillment of our higher nature.
    The primary reason we misunderstand is that we fail to take into account the presence of the Higher Power in all our activities.  ... The degree to which we disregard the Higher Power is the extent to which it resists aiding us; the extent of our obstinacy is the extent to which the Higher Power must shock us to make us aware  of its presence. ...
    Finally, we should not chastise our self for misunderstanding.  Through being confronted by our ignorance and arrogance we are able to become humble and attain true understanding.  Misunderstanding is the necessary prelude to understanding. ...

    14. Possession in great measure refers to the state of self-possession and inner independence we have achieved through perseveringly and sincerely trying to find the correct way.  In this state we unconsciously manifest the Higher Power.  ... also refers to any improvement in our attitude or circumstance ... It is acquired when we have returned from wrong-doing; ... through self-discipline and self development.  ...
    This hexagram states unequivocally that if we truly possess a thing it cannot be lost of destroyed.
    One of our primary spiritual goals is to maintain ‘great possession” or harmony with the Creative.  Such harmony exists so long as when, in our innermost mind, we conscientiously serve the true and the good.  ... In the face of evil we take care no to become infected with the inferior thing, but retreat and maintain our standards without falling into alienation or vindictiveness.  ... While in the state of ‘possession,’ if we will sacrifice our right to justifiable anger, and relinquish any feelings of self-pity, along with the right to defend our point of view when challenged, we will succeed in remaining modest, thereby honor our teacher and guide, the Sage.

* Quoted from Carol K. Anthony’s Third edition of A Guide to the I Ching.

I have been back for three weeks now.  Rededicated.  Renewed.  Ready.

Potential was there for 15 programs, just two have happened.

I am not alone. I spent this week at the Prison Chaplains conference listening to the frustrations of professionals responsible for 1700 inmates each. (Chaplain to inmate ratio is 1 to 1700 in California).

The highlight of the conference was spending an hour or so with one of the Buddhist volunteers during the faith group breakout. The only two contemplative volunteers, we shared in the challenges of setting aside so much time to offer opportunities for the men to meditate together (3-4 hours each trip) and then to be turned away at the gate. And despite all the headaches, heart aches and hassles receiving so much fulfillment from the practice. The Buddhist group has taken to offering Metta outside the gate.  I have taken to the small redwood circle on my property and spend that “class time” moving and praying.  Trusting my intent-filled offerings to be of benefit.  Praying for the deep patience of the trees.

My I-Ching reading today spoke prophetically about duration (#32):

“Duration is a state whose movement is not worn down by hindrances.  It is not a state of rest, rather the self-contained and therefore self-renewing movement of an organized, firmly integrated whole, taking place in accordance with immutable laws and beginning anew at every ending.  The end is reached by an inward movement, by inhalation, and this movement turns into a new beginning which the movement is directed outward.”*

I'm traveling now.
Traveling toward The Friends General Conference Gathering (a week with 1,700 Quakers in Tacoma, Washington).
Traveling toward something different in my prison Call.
Traveling toward empty, toward surrender, towards renewal, toward openings.

I am answering a call within the Call. A call to release the tension behind my heart, a call to empty my cup, a call to surrender to God's will for my prison ministry. A call to empty of my "doing" good works, a call to not be so engaged in my "being", a call to dissolve into the flow, surrendering as it carries me forth.

Last week I was able to guide all 5 of my QiGong classes and I can't remember when that happened last. So although the good-bye part was difficult, we traveled deeply both in the silent practice, and in the community and individual conversations. The men frequently wanted to be sure I went off knowing how much they appreciated my dedication and interest. Together we seemed to have moved beyond abandonment to the simpler truth that we all need breaks sometimes.

I offered a mini retreat a couple of Wednesdays ago, a 4 hour session, with the serious students. We relaxed more into community, sharing and exploring our responses to the chi with color crayons and gentle conversation. As we were finishing the men started asking me questions about my spiritual history, how I came to prison work and what my sabbatical about.

I mentioned my house fire and one blurted out, "so you know!" I looked at him questioningly. "You know what it is like to loose everything." I did but I hadn't connected my loss to theirs. For me theirs is so much greater, being separated from their families and rejected by the community. Yet something in their eyes had shifted.

And it shifted once more as I spoke of "just knowing, never really questioning when the opportunity appeared to come inside." One said, "This is your truth." Yes, I suppose it is.

"You have to learn to seek first the kingdom of heaven,
the place of stillness and quiet at the highest level of which you are capable,
and then the heavenly influences can pour into you, recreate you and
use you for the salvation of all human kind."
--White Eagle

Every yard in the California prison system was shut down when a guard was taken hostage on C yard (CSP SAC) the day after I went in there with Swami Rishi.  I was able to return to Old Folsom the following week and yesterday was able to go into B yard (CSP SAC).  I hope it will be possible to return to C Yard at least once before I go on sabbatical, but I am not holding my breath.

B Yard has a reputation for being a “no program” yard, because of its history of lockdowns, so the men are always relieved when I return and begin again after a lockdown.  It was good to see them too.

Having spent the weekend in Hollywood at a Gabrielle Roth 5 Rhythms workshop, I was still hopping to an internal beat that had made sleeping difficult after the long drive home and was a bit peppy for the Tai Chi Chih form we have been studying.  Gabrielle was open to the possibility of coming inside if it could be arranged and I was inspired to experiment with linking some of her teachings with the QiGong.  All weekend we had focused on two things:  how our feet danced with the ground and expressing our selves from the moving center (dan tien).

To loosen us up, we shook loose our joints using a 5 minute drumming track from one of Gabrielle’s CD’s.  Focusing on each body part helps get most folks out of their thoughts and into their bodies.  Then we played with our feet on the ground, we played with the route from the feet to the belly and we played with the energy movement between the legs through the belly as the weight shifted.  

Embodied and grounded we all were primed for a silent practice.  We stayed in our circle and only occasionally did we get out of sync. I stayed in my feet and my own practice and purposely did not make eye contact but left them to follow along and have what ever experience was up for them.  

Sitting around together on the stage steps after practice we shared and the experience had brought several men face to face to how ‘chi follows thought’.  One spoke of how he got distracted when the group fell out of sync, but then decided all he could do was focus on his own feet and stay in the flow.

Another caught himself outside the room in a thought story and then noticed that he was out of sync.  He described the difficulty he had switching back from a distracting story in his head to his feet, and how satisfying it was when he rejoined the group and moved with the bigger flow.

Shifting to silent practices and isolating the warm-up, instruction and sharing as separate parts of class feels very satisfying.  Turning the men over to their own experiences and the larger Qi-Field is ... well ... like ... duh.  It fits the Quaker in me, it conserves my personal energy, disengages my ego, increases the participation and attention level among the men, and it allows us all to absorb more from the Qi-Field.

We Quakers have a buzz phrase, “ongoing revelation,” to remind ourselves of the constant activity of God in our lives teaching us, guiding us, changing our beliefs, renewing our practices with new input and insight, interrupting what we thought were divine patterns or beliefs to bring forth the new.  Creatively engaging in our lives here and now. I am so grateful for all the people who have showed up in my life lately to “stand in” for God in this dance of my life.  A deep bow to Baba Hari Dass for guiding us into the silence once again; Gabrielle Roth for bringing the inside out through the dance.  

May we each surrender to the silence through our practice of choice and allow ourselves to be transformed by it.

"You have to learn to seek first the kingdom of heaven,
the place of stillness and quiet at the highest level of which you are capable,
and then the heavenly influences can pour into you, recreate you and
use you for the salvation of all human kind."
--White Eagle

Swamiji and I had tea with Baba Hari Dass a few weeks ago.  When I had my one-on-one time with him, I told him I taught meditation in the prisons and asked if he had a teaching for me to take inside.  He wrote back on his tiny white board that hangs around his neck, ” Do they come to pass time or to meditate?”

I answered. “both, some to pass time and others are sincere.”  Then he advised, “Make silence a rule during class,”  looked me in the eye, nodded and went back to handing out goodies to the children present.

So today, my first time to teach inside since his blessing, I took up the challenge.  After a brief explanation about levels of listening and learning during a silent practice we began.  I had several new men, a dozen beginners and just a few with much experience, but it worked well.  What was special was that I was engaged in a very different way.  I was engaged with the QiField, engaged with my own practice, but I surrendered my students to the Qi, (Chi) the vital force, the Holy flow.  In giving up responsibility for the men's experience, I lightened, the room lightened and the quiet held us all as we flowed through the moves. The men spoke positively about their experience.    

After the silent practice, we sat on the floor and S. and I answered questions, about the moves, about Chinese Healing practices, ... about religious implications.  Everyone seemed relaxed and surrendered, including myself... I good sign.

Reflecting on the recent months of tension in my neck and back, I also recognize that I have been picking up a lot of grief from the men especially around being separated from their families.  Last Wednesday one of my Level I men spoke of how he has been trying unsuccessfully for 9 months to get clearance for his children’s counselor to visit, so she could bring his children to see him, as his ex-wife refuses.  His daughter was to turn 8 the next day and he was not going to be allowed even a special phone call.  “I was a 25/8 kind of Dad, not an absentee father, I miss them so much and I am being erase from their lives.” he grieved.

Another Level IV man shared about a initiative drive to reinstate family visits for men serving Life sentences.  What must it mean to miss your families so desperately?  Phone calls are outrageously expensive and difficult.  Mail is often lost or delayed for weeks. Letters get destroyed with just a reference to a web-site address even though they have no access to the internet.  Story after story fills my heart with anguish.

For the men inside, the burden of guilt over abandoning their families is further aggravated by the obstacles placed in the way of repairing these very relationships.  The restoration of prisoner’s family relationships is fundamental not only to their rehabilitation, but the future of their children and our society in breaking the cycles of violence and criminal behavior. Separating a person from their family is the best way to break down a person’s soul.  Deliberately hindering the healing of families is the best way to break down a society’s soul.

May compassion find a way somehow.