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Monday, October 08, 2007
All I want is to be useful
One of the biggest heartaches of being locked up is not being able to contribute. There is a long waiting list for the job of reading books for the blind and only a couple of positions available. Chapel clerk jobs are coveted. Most of the jobs available are full of down time; very few intail what we would call meaningful work.
Finding meaning in your life, having purpose is fundamental; and a fundamental challenge for prisoners. Two conversations recently brought forth examples to share.
One older man, who has always been a tinker and go-to, fix-it kind of guy, is now lost without his workbench. His last job was fixing guitars so others could make music. He knows that he will die here in prison because of some stupid mistakes (he did not elaborate) and he finds it such a waste not to be able to work, not to be able to fix things, not to be able to contribute. “They can keep me here for the rest of my life if they need to,” he said, “just let me do something useful!”
Another recently was privileged to tend the Native American’s garden while they were on lockdown. He was so full of joy and satisfaction when he spoke of the gift of being able to get his hands in the dirt and pull weeds, and to watch as birds came for the water, and the plants grew under his brief time of tending. He was getting hassled by other men and the guards for “going Native,” but found those easy to bear in exchange for the blessings of entering into the cycle of Nature for a tiny period of time.
The Sacramento Tree Foundation used to have a program where 1st and 2nd graders sprouted oak seedlings as a science project; and then the seedlings were cared for my inmates at Folsom until they were big enough to plant out in a park or school. The project was canceled years ago.
The men I come in contact with are hungry for meaning in their lives. There must be a way.
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