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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
State of the Ministry 06
This past January I filed this report with my Oversight Committee. Recently published in the Sacramento Friends Meeting newsletter I realized that it belonged here too. The first State of the Mnistry Report began this blog in 2004.
Since 1998 the Call to be actively engaged in supporting the men inside prison find access to their divine core essence, while cultivating a sense of communion with the flow of God through out all they are and do, has guided my life. Sacramento Friends Meeting has inspired, counseled, nourished and supported me as this Concern has grown over the years. Having an active Oversight Committee has given me a sense of companionship and supervision in what otherwise would be a solitary effort.
Hospice Chaplaincy: In January of 2005, I sensed that my work as a Hospice Chaplain had ripened, reached its fullest potential and I resigned in March. I felt spiritually called to re-center on my prison concern, understanding that if I opened up more space in my life, more would be asked of me. Quickly my programs for the men inside grew from two each week to six. My five years of Hospice and Hospital Chaplaincy added a great depth and sensitivity to my understanding of the vastness and variety of human potential and spiritual beliefs. I am very grateful for those experiences and the families that share their journeys with me.
Blog: http://chifully.blogspirit.com What began as a feedback opportunity for those who were praying for the men and my work in the prison has shifted over the past two years and 151 entries. It began with stories of the journeys inside the prison, the openings and the difficulties. Then it came into my heart that speaking about the men with out their being able to read it was out of integrity. I got permission and the blog was shared with my more serious students inside. About this time there was also a call to “let my life preach” and the blog content shifted focus to the journey inside me, the openings and the difficulties. It feels ready to shift again, and I am listening for the “how.”
Cell Visits: Fall and winter of 2005 I experimented with cell visits to my students. Some went well, other’s didn’t. I stumbled through a good deal of re-evaluation of my assumptions, cultural expectations, issues of privacy and respect. If I am to return to this practice, I must do it from God’s perspective rather than my own. Greater spiritual maturity will be required.
Programing: My own evolution as a Qigong and meditation teacher has taken some serious leaps inspired by challenges at the prison. I have also lead two different 9-month spiritual groups in worship sharing style. I keep experimenting with spiritual authority, how to mentor and stimulate inner discovery with men of a variety of backgrounds and learning styles. The Quaker in me focuses on empowering, which is different from the authoritarian approach most of the men are use to.
In April of 2006 I hosted nationally known prison speaker and spiritual elder Bo Lozoff, for 6 prison and 2 community programs. His spiritual clarity moved me, the men and the other volunteers in ways I am still hearing about. He reframed the prison experience as a gift, and offered up a model of self-less service done with great joy.
Personal spiritual challenges: I asked to be taken to a new level, and God has been answering. It is difficult to summarize this inner movement of the spirit, let me offer a few phrase: releasing my anger at injustice; rebalancing the nature of giving and receiving in my life; bearing witness - bearing burdens- facing towards; seeking undefended courage; giving up the known for the unknown; seeing the face of God behind everything; accepting helplessness; letting go of spiritual efforting; finding the difference between praying and being prayed. Scheduling rest days after prison days, helped ease the ebb and flow of my own energy. Answering to Sage advice and teaching my classes in silence for the last two months before my retreat, helped me cope with a rising sense of pride in being a spiritual teacher by turning the classes over to the true Teacher.
Weekend Retreats: I offered workshops focused on the query “How do we walk cheerfully when answering to suffering” at Quaker Center (Dec 04) and Pendle Hill (March 06). The months previous to each event were tumultuous spiritually as I struggled with the very questions I would latter support others in exploring. Despite all the preliminary personal chaos, the events themselves were full of the movement of spirit, facilitated with deep listening to the needs of the participants and plenty of grace.
Sabbatical (s): Consistency, which is so valued in prison programs, is always difficult with the men as their level of intention shifts, their housing shifts and their lockdown status shifts. This year for the first time my own consistency has been an issue. An accumulation of stressors and spiritual urgings lead me to take a three month break (July – Sept) and completely lay down the Call. Laying down the Call was heart wrenching and yet felt necessary to honestly allow full opening to the Divine desire for my life to rise above the chatter of my own desires. Sitting inside a giant cedar tree in meditation, I heard the voice of the Holy in the tree say to me, “ You belong in the prison just as I belong next to this creek.” Confirmation of the best kind!
I came back in October to lockdowns and volunteer troubles that allowed for very few programs to actually be held. At one point I had only been able to hold 4 of 40 classes. Those issues eased in December and January and I was able to teach most of my classes (currently 5 a week) before I left traveling in February and March. All my programs had to stop as I have no substitute available.
Possibilities: The position of Protestant Chaplain at Old Folsom has opened up and I have applied. Meeting has graciously supported me with a Traveling Minute and PYM with a letter explaining Quaker process.
God has been very much at work in my life and the life of this Call. This grace has not always been graceful. Yet even as I have been turned inside out and held upside down, my presence to the men God uses me to serve has remained sincere and healthy. I am deeply grateful for all the “grist for the mill” that this call has offered and for Meeting’s tender care of me throughout this journey.
Judy Tretheway, January 16, 2007.
Addendum: The Protestant Chaplain position never truly became available, yet the process of applying and listening deeply to the Call, has led me to step up in a bigger way and offer additional spiritual programs on each yard.
My travels this spring to SE Asia and India gave me good time away, perspective and opportunities for spiritual growth that are showing up in the classes and circles. We are dropping deeper, faster and with profound consequences for all of us involved as we engage the spiritual energy of the group (QiField) in a dynamic and conscious way, inviting the healing ripples in and sending the healing ripples out.
Sacramento Friends Meeting is hosting a potluck to share in the fruits of this ministry on June 17, 2007 about noon.
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